My marriage ended two weeks ago. I’ve found nothing to write since and instead of panicking about what may come, am giving myself permission to be silent. My oven hasn’t been turned on since that day, except to heat up food for my son, and I haven’t opened my camera bag.
There’s a shame that sits with not writing, an old belief that serious writers write no matter what. But all I have in this time is the moment in which I exist, and all of my moments currently involve the privacy and feelings of others. Those I have no right to include in this blog.
What I can write today is that my parents, sister and friends have been essential to remembering all the present and future joys that exist. I couldn’t imagine walking through a single day without them and haven’t gone an hour without contact from someone who’s one of mine.
I’m sad, scared and slightly fractured, and am truly sorry to those who tune in here each week for something tasty and wordy. I wont be gone for long and, knowing me, will return with a flamboyant waving of my online arms; but for now I sincerely hope that all of you, my lovely readers, have a bunch of someones you can wrap your arms and heart around.
Susanne
xx
The Imperfect Kitchen 
Hang in there!
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The writing will be there when the time is right 🙂 In the meantime – take care of you and yours and they’ll take care of you 🙂
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The old saying that “serious writers write no matter what” is just that… an archaic belief that belongs in the past.
You are human and humans sometimes need downtime, we have lives outside of writing, we have family and friends. You have an amazing and unique talent that will still be there when you are ready to use it again, and many people who enjoy that talent, but who are certainly willing to wait while you take care of you. YOU are more important than the blog. Just sayin’.
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Oh man, I have thought of you this past week or two and missed your posts. I am so sorry to hear this. Sending you strength and light in this difficult time. You are wise to give yourself silence and work though this. The words and food will come again because you are too talented for them not to be there when the time is right.
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I read your post today and just wanted to say I’m sorry for what you’re going through.
You’re an amazing writer and your blog has never failed to give me something to think and smile about – plus the recipes are fantastic.
Thank you and when you’re ready, I’ll look forward to hearing more from you.
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Remember that an end is always a beginning of something new- the nature doesn’t like having “gaps” in between, whatever feels empty now it will fill up with a new and better content- I went through something similar, it hurts and it’s sad, but you have to go through it, it’s good you have good and loving people around you, but it’s only up to you how long this sad and difficult time is going to last. You’ve got only one life, and it’s not worth wasting it on something that is already behind you- it probably had been from some time ago it was just difficult to let it go- you’re smart and talented no doubts, so take it and don’t look back! Hugs xx
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Look after yourself first and foremost. Writing will come back. This weekend I sewed my first stitches since my marriage ended, and the relief is immense. There’s no right or wrong way to feel. Just be kind to yourself. My latest bout of self-kindness was quitting my job. Such relief! Here’s to the future and new beginnings. x
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Dearheart, you will still be feeling hurt and angry and possibly a sense of failure. Don’t let it crush your creativity. Use it to fuel it. Write down everything you are thinking and feeling … just not here on your blog. And then burn those pages when you feel the need for release from the bitterness.
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Taking care of yourself and your son is most important. When it’s time the oven will turn back on and the words will follow therapeutically. Seek strength and support from those dearest to you. There will be joy again x
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take care of yourself first and foremost, the blog will always still be here when you’re ready for it xx
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That is beautifully and poignantly written Susanne. It brings back the sadness, fear and fracturedness I felt when I walked in those shoes. I had a gut feeling when we didn’t hear from you last week. Your sweet, sad, scared heart will be in my prayers. Thank you for letting us know that you have support and that you know future joys exist, because they do.
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Taking care of yourself and your family is the most important at this time Susanne. I pray that you get the strength you need.
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Thank you for your heartbreaking honesty. The words will come, maybe not here in this space, but I imagine all of the words – the hurt, anger, sadness – are circling around in your mind all the time. My own marriage trembles on the edge of sustainability, too, and that is not something I write about, either. Wishing you and your sweet son peace and strength during the transition.
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We can wait…………….but take great care of yourself.
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My thoughts are with you – it’s a devastating time even when it’s the right thing. I have walked in your shoes and understand the torrent of conflicting emotions that come at a time like this. I found it really helpful to take 10 minutes each day to sit quietly and try and let the noise and the internal voices fade into the background a little – not to focus on them and to just focus on my sense of place in myself if that makes sense. By the end of those minutes I didn’t come up with any answers but I always felt calmer and more centred and just a little bit stronger to deal with my emotions and the emotions of those around me. In time it will get easier although right now, I know it probably feels like it won’t. You have lots of love in your life and people who care deeply about you. You will get back to writing and cooking when you’re ready – for now take care of yourself. xx
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My thoughts are with you – it’s a devastating time even when it’s the right thing. I have walked in your shoes and understand the torrent of conflicting emotions that come at a time like this. I found it really helpful to take 10 minutes each day to sit quietly and try and let the noise and the internal voices fade into the background a little – not to focus on them and to just focus on my sense of place in myself if that makes sense. By the end of those minutes I didn’t come up with any answers but I always felt calmer and more centred and just a little bit stronger to deal with my emotions and the emotions of those around me. In time it will get easier although right now, I know it probably feels like it won’t. You have lots of love in your life and people who care deeply about you. You will get back to writing and cooking when you’re ready – for now take care of yourself. xx
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one day at a time, one breath at a time, one moment at a time. I remember you saying this to me one day, and it helped very much. Much love to you
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We’ve all been there, in one way or another. Breakups, basically, suck. Even the best of them. Even the most necessary. Life will flow back into the dead zones, and joy along with it. Sending love and strength.
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I’m so sorry to hear you are having such a hard time at the moment. Don’t beat yourself up about not writing. You need to give yourself time to rest and heal as well as grieve what has passed. Remember you and your son have so much to look forward to together. Emma xx
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From someone that has been there, just know that time is your best ally. Don’t despair, take one day at time. I started my blog because of my broken heart, so I credit my blog with saving my sanity, so write away!! Hugs and blessings! 🙂
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We love you babygirl.
And I feel like a bastard for yelling at you to come back the other day..
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Praying for the whole you, Suzanne.
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Much love, hugs xxxxxx
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Big hugs my love. Be kind to yourself xxx
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Still thinking of you tonight, my blogging friend across the miles,
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Oops wasn’t done. And wishing you a peaceful day.
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Oh, sorry to hear this – though hoping it means a change for the better, even if the right-now is difficult. Anyone who subscribes to the belief that serious writers write no matter what, is taking themselves, or their writing too seriously. Take care of you.
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Missing your beautiful posts. Have been thinking about and praying for you and today I am sending you love. Hope to see you post again soon.
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I wondered where you had got to. 😦 I really can’t think of anything useful to say but I really hope that you are coping and that we’ll hear from you soon. It’s a very tough thing to go through. x
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I miss you and want to take this offline and reach out directly but i don’t know if you’re ready.
So just know i miss you, terribly.
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You have so much going on, but if you ever need a safe place to land for a day, with tea on tap, child-play that I’ll supervise, an ear to listen or a quiet room in which to rest, get in touch with me again through MIssus Alanna. Any practical help I can give I will- you are doing the emotional work already, and damn you are doing it true.
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My thoughts are with you my friend. I feel your emptiness. I was wondering about the void your absence has left– but that is not what’s important. I wish you strength but also that you allow yourself to weak when you need to be. Let yourself be carried by the many that love you. I’m sorry for your pain, and I urge you to take all the time you need.
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I wanted to check in with you. I think of you often! Hope you’re surfacing once again. It must have been a remarkably tough holiday. I’ll keep you in my prayers.
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