Unnecessary Humble Pie / Chicken & Leek Pie

A few weeks ago, I wrote a recipe for roasted garlic and pumpkin pie. In the comments, a woman whose blog I really enjoy wrote that she would like to make the pie, once she’d converted the ingredients from grams to cups.

I’m not sure what happened to me then. I definitely felt excitement that a blogger I admired was commenting, I’m aware that my ego’s been feeling a little fragile recently with some meditative work I’ve been doing, and my attention had wandered that day from keeping me mindfully right sized. But whatever the reason, I responded with a lengthy and unasked for piece of advice about why she should never use cups in her baking because grams were so clearly superior.

I had evidence (I’m pretty practised at backing up inappropriate behaviour with all sorts of good scientific proof — just read my piece on fundamentalism), and was wily enough to riff off a small joke at my own expense at the end. Like that would somehow undo the damage I was causing with my words.

Even before I hit the ‘respond’ button I had a feeling that this action wasn’t okay, that I should pause in my doubt and take some time. But, in my distracted state, the voice that usually stays my hand wasn’t there and I clicked my potential for humility away.

I initially wrote this piece humorously, and invented a conversation with a friend to try to make me seem more amused by the whole scenario than I actually am. But the reality, if I’m not mindfully careful, is that I stew over situations like these, where I could have chosen to step on the side of good living but instead I tumble into who I don’t want to be. My thinking can rapidly transgress far beyond the story that’s actually happening and tell me I’m no good, unloveable, idiotic. Everything becomes additional evidence of my ineptitude to survive in contact with others, and therefore proof that I should avoid everyone forever.

Once upon a time, I would have welcomed these thoughts as some sort of therapeutic exercise. This one small, foolish act could have been the beginning of a self-absorbed self-loathing enterprise designed purely to think about myself more, while deludedly telling myself that it wasn’t self obsession if I was thinking about being in the wrong. That I was figuring it out so I can be perfectly behaved next time, and that it was necessary, even essential.

Now, after ten years of walking a kinder, less dishonest path, I fully recognise that any extended thinking with me playing a role is not only boring self obsession, it’s also incredibly dangerous for a mind like mine that, if I’m not paying enough attention, finds deep bogs of obsessive thinking to wallow in.

So, with trusted friends, I look at the part of my thinking that’s led me back into the labyrinth of unhelpful reasoning and try to separate out the delusions of what I think I see, from the reality of the situation.

And then, once I think I’ve seen the reality – in this case that I wasn’t having my best day and was trying to stroke my own ego with total disregard for someone else – I see what I can do about mending any harm I believe I’ve caused, whether they remember, or care about the harm.

In this way, I stay free from the snatching snares of self, and have a chance at living peacefully for one more day.

On this occasion I deleted the comment, then sent my fellow blogger a private apology by email. A day later she responded, very kindly, saying that she had no idea what I was talking about as she’d never read my comment… I laughed for quite a long time at the realisation that even once I’ve done the work to get right sized, reality can still be just a distant dream in my fantasy-filled mind.

In the same vein, I spent years avoiding making pastry as it seemed too complex, too challenging and just too much hard work. Finally, I willed myself into making a pie very similar to the one I’m sharing with you today — which I’ve adapted from The River Cottage Everyday Cookbook — and was blown away by the ease at which it came together and turned into delicious, old fashioned flakiness. In this recipe it’s coupled with a classic chicken and leek filling. Freezable and easy to reheat in the microwave if, like me, you like that sort of easy cooking. You can fill these with almost anything savoury or sweet though, as long as there isn’t too much liquid.

Enjoy.

Pastry

• 300g plain (all purpose) flour
• a pinch of sea salt
• 150g chilled unsalted butter, cut into small cubes
• water and ice, in a glass

Filling

• 30g butter
• 500g leeks (about 2-3 leeks), trimmed and finely sliced
• 1 tsp roughly chopped flat leaf parsley
• 150ml double (heavy) cream
• 1 tsp seeded mustard
• 400g chicken, cut into pieces
• 1 tbl sp olive oil
• salt & pepper for seasoning
• 1 egg, beaten

For the pastry

Mix the flour and salt together in a mixing bowl before adding the butter and tossing until the pieces are covered with flour

Add enough iced water to form the mixture into a fairly firm dough (between 8 and 10 tablespoons)

Shape the dough into a rectangle with your hands, dust a surface and a rolling pin with flour, then roll the pastry away from you until the rectangle’s about 1cm thick

Imagining that your pastry is divided into three, fold the far end of the third towards you to cover the middle third before folding the third closest to you over the top

You will now have a rectangle with three layers of equal size

Quarter turn the pastry and repeat the rolling, folding and turning process 5 more times

Wrap the pastry in cling film and rest in the fridge for at least ½ hour

For the filling

Melt the butter in a frying pan before adding the leeks and parsley

Cook gently for 5-10 minutes until the leeks are very tender

Stir in the cream and continue cooking gently for about 5 minutes, until the mixture has reduced and thickened

Stir in the seeded mustard, and some salt and pepper, before leaving to cool

Turn up to medium high heat, add the olive oil to the same pan and, once warmed, add the chicken

Cook for a few minutes until the chicken is nicely golden coloured

For the pie

Lightly flour a working surface before rolling out the pastry to 3mm thick

Use a plate or tin (I use a loose-bottomed cake tin) to cut out four 20cm circles, I need to re-roll for my fourth circle

Spoon the filling on one half of the pastry circles and pile on the chicken

Brush the edges with a little water before folding over the other half of the pastry

Crimp the edges to completely seal

Place some baking paper onto a baking tray and the pies onto the paper

Brush the egg over the tops of the pasties before baking for about 25 minutes, or until the pastry is golden brown

Eat hot or cold

Sirens’ Songs of Sea & Sunshine / Cheesy Roasted Garlic & Pumpkin Pie {Gluten Free option}

I’m sitting at a softly polished red gum table, watching shadow-green waves whisper onto a white beach. We’re just north of the West Australian town of Mandurah, on holiday with my dad and his wife. With them living in Europe and us on the east coast of Australia we’re lucky that we get to see them twice a year, few are so blessed when they’re tens of thousands of miles apart.

Our little family landed a few days ago and I sat at this same table — unpacked bags scattered across the floor, still grimy from the plane journey — and marvelled at the horizon’s caress of sea meeting sky, the sun scattered kisses on the water and the waves rolling wearily in from a journey far greater than ours.

Our week since has been predominately 20 metres either side of this table. On one side, the sea with it’s warm waters and gentle waves, a perfect introduction for my toddler son. On the other, luxurious beds and bathrooms, a siren call to this tired mum. We swim in the early mornings and late afternoons, greeting and farewelling the sun from the sea each day. During the day, we read, write, play cards, talk endlessly, cook leisurely meals and lose ourselves in something as close to the perfect form of a beach as I can imagine. I think even Plato would have been impressed with this heavenly offering.

As I write this, it seems nature’s in the mood to show off — a school of dolphins cavort in the shallow waters ahead of me, and two pelicans dance in the sky above. It’s the sort of scene I would constantly google to dream about when I was 23 years old and working 14 hours a day in the middle of a finance market trading floor in a windowless, poorly converted car park in central London.

My father’s house here has a beautiful kitchen and I’ve been immersing myself in ferociously expensive Miele appliances. They produce meals that hum with celestial flavours and textures. If I could dig his exceptional oven out of the wall and somehow convince my airline to accept it as hand luggage, I may well risk my relationship with him to do so…

I made this pie while watching my father and son jumping waves together last night, and served it with a simple salad just as the setting sun disappeared from view. All our food this week has been of the relaxed, undemanding, stretch-or-starve variety. I’d read about roasting garlic cloves inside pumpkin a while ago and wanted to try the technique in a recipe that would really showcase the flavours. Thick slices of red onion with lots of thyme and sharp, salty cheese complete this simple and utterly delicious filling.

Enjoy.

Pastry ingredients – for a gluten free pastry, the recipe I adore and swear by can be found by clicking here

• 250g strong plain flour
• 1 tsp fine sea salt
• 250g butter, at room temperature, but not soft
• about 150ml cold water

Filling ingredients

• ½ pumpkin – weight about 1kg
• 2 ½ tbl sp olive oil
• 1 bulb of garlic
• 1 red onion, roughly chopped
• 2 tbl sp fresh thyme leaves, plus additional sprigs to garnish
• 115g cheddar cheese, grated
• 100g pecorino cheese, grated
• 1 tbl sp milk
• salt and pepper

Making the pastry

Sift the flour and salt into a large bowl. Roughly break the butter in small chunks, add them to the bowl and rub them in loosely. You need to see bits of butter

Make a well in the bowl and pour in about two-thirds of the cold water, mixing until you have a firm rough dough adding extra water if needed. Cover with cling film and leave to rest for 20 mins in the fridge

Turn out onto a lightly floured board, knead gently and form into a smooth rectangle. Roll the dough in one direction only, until 3 times the width, about 20 x 50cm. Keep edges straight and even. Don’t overwork the butter streaks; you should have a marbled effect

Fold the top third down to the centre, then the bottom third up and over that. Give the dough a quarter turn (to the left or right) and roll out again to three times the length. Fold as before, cover with cling film and chill for at least 20 mins before rolling to use

This recipe makes about 750g and you only need 375g for this recipe, so keep the rest in the freezer for recipes like The Imperfect Kitchen’s blueberry and lemon pastries!

Making the tart

Pre heat the oven to 200°C and, using 1 tsp of the oil, grease a pie dish measuring 28cm

Scoop out the seeds from the pumpkin and rub all over with ½ tbl sp of the oil

Break the bulb of garlic into cloves (leave the skin on the cloves) and mix in a bowl with ½ tbl sp of the oil

Place the cloves in the pumpkin cavity, then place the pumpkin cut side down on a baking tray, so that the garlic is enclosed under the pumpkin. (Easy way to do this? Place the baking tray, upside down onto the garlic-filled pumpkin and turn the whole thing over)

Deeply pierce the pumpkin 6 or 7 times with a sharp knife and bake in the oven for 1 hour, until the pumpkin is soft

Meanwhile, heat the remaining oil in a frying pan over medium heat. Add the onion and cook for 7 to 10 minutes, you want the onion to be well coloured but still with a bit of bite

When the pumpkin is ready, spoon the flesh into a bowl and discard the skin. Squeeze the garlic from their skins into the bowl and mash thoroughly with a fork

Completely mix the onion, thyme leaves and cheeses with the pumpkin mix and season well with salt and pepper

Roll out the pastry on a lightly floured board

Cut out a circle about 33cm in diameter and place in the pie dish, cutting off any overhanging pastry

Prick the base all over with a fork and bake for 15 minutes

Remove the pastry from the oven, spoon the pumpkin mixture into the pastry and spread to fill evenly, add the thyme sprigs as garnish and a final grind of salt and pepper to the top

Brush the edges of the pastry with milk and return the pie to the oven for 5 to 7 minutes to let the pumpkin warm through

Serve immediately